I have decided I need to have a passionate love affair with gatoraide, there is just no getting around it

So if you are checking your police blotters and you see me arrested for unseemly things done with gatoraide it was all in the name of running a marathon.

I don't know if my electrolyte issue is well documented but it should be. I should be in some medical science book for the most freaking and entertaining muscles spasm dances east of the Mississippi (anyone else have to sing that out to spell that word thank you grade school).

Sure I could become like that freaky guy running the Tokyo marathon wearing enough gear that I add 50 pounds to my running weight but I would rather not.

This guy, no words fit for the sheer stupidity of this getup


Gels in pocket one, electrolyte tablets in pocket two, pretzels in fanny pack one, pedolyte in fanny pack two, gotta get one of those belts for nuun, some natural juices and then fanny pack three for whatever.

Or I can just figure out a way to make up with gatoraide, I don't think a simple friendship will do, I think we need to become lovers and sweethearts. I mean there is gatoraide every two miles of the marathon course. So option A is to become a complete goober and carry enough random items to fill one of those little clown eco friendly smart cars (you know the ones I am talking about, the ones you are waiting for 20 clowns to climb out of and wonder what happens to them if they hit anything doing more than 2 miles an hour, honestly how is it smart to get into a car that if you were to hit a beetle or a bug too fast your going to total your car and die).

This ridiculous contraption minus the clowns


Or option B is to become one with the gatoraide and drink it every two miles that it is provided on the marathon course.

I am going with option B, I got like seven months to do it. I even bought a 12 pack at the grocery store of perfect little running bottles of gatoraide yesterday. So this weekend the plan is to run the first 5 miles of my 10miler with water and that since my runs are in 5 mile loops around my house to then switch to gatoraide for the next 5 miles. I will stash the gatoraide in a bush or something, I am sure there must be roving bands of gatoraide thieves roaming the streets looking for unguarded gatoraide to steal so better safe then sorry.